HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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