You work out of a Hotel?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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