He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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