Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
