Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The air taste purple.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize