So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
