you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
As shirtless as possible
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
