that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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