You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
