HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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