Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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