capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
