hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
