hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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