rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
