the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
