a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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