Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
