Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
