i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
