Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She bit a glass in half.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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