Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
