That's intense
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
