I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
