I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
