So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
