I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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