i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
