So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
