I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
