just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
