OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
