I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
