Don't you send me to vm
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
