His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
