I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
