maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize