I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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