it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
