Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize