Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize