Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
