Me too!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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