exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
