And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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