How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
