Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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