Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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