So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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