i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
