But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
