My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize