I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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