sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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