"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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