Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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