my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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