Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
