my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
True strength comes from lack of pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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