Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ok first of all what the fuck
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