please come you make the beer taste better
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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